An Amazing Mother

My sister Mary typed up a copy of my mother's journal dating from 1981-1989 and gave all us five other siblings a copy. I have been enjoying reading it the last few days. My mother passed away when I was 12 years old, so it is nice to have her written words at a time in her life when she was only a few years older than I am now.

It is also a little (actually quite) embarrassing to go back and read her entries as it makes me remember what an incredible woman she was and what I have to live up to, but never will.

Back in 1984, she had 4 children (me being the baby) at the time, my dad was working full time as a computer scientist at Eyring, part time for the National Guard, and was also getting his Master's Degree at BYU (all at once).

Mom was an expert gardener and took care of 12 garden beds, multiple fruit trees, raspberry bushes, etc., (Excerpt: "The garden is growing well. We have had and are enjoying wax beans, parsnips, peas, horse beans, radishes, lettuce, spinach, beets, chard, bell peppers, zucchini, onions and cucumbers, also purslane and parsley and cauliflower and kohlrabi, tomatoes, strawberries, green beans, carrots, pumpkins, butternut, banana squash, patty pan, raspberries, turnips, potato").

She baked homemade breads on a weekly basis (one baking day she did this: "Yesterday was baking day and I made a double recipe of lemon squares (some for Pam Shelton and her family for dessert, and Dahlin’s, Sheltons have new baby boy), 8 loaves wheat bread, 4 loaves rye bread, 4 loaves french bread and 32 soft pretzels."). She ground her own wheat and made homemade granola and graham crackers on occasion, too.

She was also taking voice lessons, worked very hard at genealogy, was a sewing wizard (doll clothes, church dresses, denim pants for Dad, just about anything), canned close to 200 jars of fruits and vegetables a year, sewed quilts for all of us children, crochet afghans, tried to attend the temple weekly, was the Relief Society secretary, and so much more. Needless to say, she arose between 5:30-6:00 every morning to study her scriptures before the rest of the family got up.

Regardless of all that, in almost every entry she talked of never getting enough done, or wasted days, feeling like a failure, and so on. If she was a failure while doing all that, I don't even want to think what I would be.

It is sad to think that I could now have so much expert advice on how to make better bread, and could call her when I need help with my quilt. She could show me how to can and grow a garden (if I ever get a yard someday). But it makes me reach out to others around me for advice and thankfully I have so many talented friends and family members (not to mention two amazing sisters who follow after my mother's footsteps). I do miss my mother tremendously, but what a better example to follow of how I want to be someday (but not for many, many years to come).